In this video I give a confidence tip for women in particular about why & how positive emotions can help build your confidence
I recently started studying a course on Positive Psychology and it’s frikken Fascinating stuff!
For example, did you know that there are fewer words in the English language to describe positive emotions than there are negative emotions?
No wonder it’s so easy to complain about the weather all the time!
The fact is, all emotions are a reaction to your current circumstances. The resulting emotion is dependent what you decide about that circumstance.
There’s that quote by some dude called Epictetus – a Greek Philosopher guy, that goes “It’s not what happens to you but how you react to it that matters”. As it turns out, he’s totally right!
When you’re faced with a situation, the circumstance itself is neutral, it just is what it is. YOU give it the meaning by deciding whether it’s a positive or a negative situation. And based on that decision you make, you’ll respond with either positive or negative emotions.
Emotions Are Contagious
The thing about emotions is that they’re contagious. What you’re feeling right now, is generally what you’ll feel next – UNLESS you take some action to change it.
That’s why there tends to be a downward spiral if you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and when you stub your toe you tend to go from a bad mood to an even worse mood when you later spill coffee on your shirt.
So – the responsibility is YOURS to recognize your current emotion and decide whether to accept it or change it.
Now obviously I’m talking about average people on an average day. I’m no psychologist so I don’t have the expertise to comment on someone with mental health issues or someone dealing with a trauma situation, #justsaying.
But, generally, the average person can choose to change their mood by first recognising that they’ve chosen this mood in the first place.
Take Positive Action
So how do you do that? With practice. Lots and lots of practice. There’s mediation and journalling and several other techniques that can help you but it’s all about the continued effort you put into it.
Like most people, my emotional default tends to swing towards the mildly positive side, and that makes me feel good. What I’ve found, on those occasions when I’m not feeling positive, I put into practice one of those techniques to help me snap out of it, like listing off 10 things I’m grateful for in my head, then my emotions begin to shift. When I recognize that, it shows me that I DO have a choice and I can exert control over my emotions which in turn makes me feel more confident.
So – I want to encourage you to give it a try. When you catch yourself in a bad mood with negative emotions, recognise the situation that you’ve chosen to declare negative and then do something like meditation, journalling or gratitude to snap you out of it. See if that changes things, even if just slightly and give yourself a pat on the back! The more you do it, the easier it’ll get. And remember – your emotions are contagious, so choose wisely!
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