What is Mind Confidence?
This is the second of a 3 part series where I’ll be sharing my thoughts on the 3 sub-categories of the broader term of confidence that I’ve identified as crucial to a holistic approach to confidence. You can read the first part on Body Confidence here. You can read the following post about Soul Confidence here.
Confidence can be categorized into Body Confidence, Mind Confidence and Soul Confidence.
In my opinion Mind Confidence relates to the way in which a person talks to themselves, their emotional and feeling state, their response to external stimulus and the meaning they assign to events and experiences.
No one in the world knows how you speak to yourself. No one. Not your parents, not your siblings, not your best friends, not your significant other. No one except you knows the truth about the way you speak to yourself.
It has been said that if you were to speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself, you’d have no friends left. Each one of us has that inner voice that narrates our day to day waking moments. Sometimes we’re aware of it, sometimes we’re not. But it’s always there regardless.
Sometimes that voice can be destructive, and other times it can be constructive. It can either elevate your confidence and self esteem or it can decrease your confidence and self-esteem.
Becoming aware of the difference between the two is the first step in elevating your Mind Confidence through Self Talk.
Emotional & Feeling State
It seems that we each have a default emotional and feeling setting. Each of us is either generally happy, or generally sad. Of course, that’s not to say that we’re always one or always the other. Depending on various circumstances in our lives, we may fluctuate between the two, finding ourselves in a new spot on the spectrum. But broadly speaking, when life is trundling along without any adverse conditions or incidences, most of us can generally identify and describe our average emotional tendencies.
I believe that our emotions and feelings on an average day will impact our level of confidence either adversely or favourably depending on our respective inclination. Think about it, when you’re in a good mood, things are going well, your outlook on life is rosy, your level of confidence is up there – elevated along with the good vibes.
But have a bad day, where nothing’s going your way, it seems that the world is against you, and you bark at anyone brave enough to greet you – if you were to consider your confidence levels when you’re feeling like that, you’d probably find it dragging along on the floor next to your mood and your lower lip.
So it’s easy to see that your emotional and feeling states can impact your level of confidence.
Response to External Stimulus
The other day my husband was talking to me about all the turmoil in the world – politics, terrorism, racism, corruption. We were in the car at the time, he was driving, and I made a concerted effort to make sure he didn’t see me wipe away the tears that were running down my cheek. I don’t follow current news events because I know that it has this kind of impact on me. I become sad and anxious and scared and I feel hopeless.
Following on from the previous point, it stands to reason that when I’m feeling these emotions, I’m certainly not going to feel confident at the same time. The opposite is also true. When I listen to my favourite podcasts or watch a motivational TEDTalk, my mood and thus my confidence is improved.
That’s why I make a conscious choice about the kind of information I consume on a daily basis. It stands to reason that our feelings and emotions are impacted by the content we consume, much like the way our body reflects the quality and quantity of food we feed it. so If we know we’re pre-disposed to a specific response to a specific type of content, we can take action to ensure we have the best possible outcome, ensuring that our confidence levels remain in tip-top shape!
Two people can be faced with the same situation and yet, each one experiences something different. For example, if there’s a derelict building on a nice street, one person might look at that building and see a drug den and hide out for unsavoury characters which is bringing down the value and appeal of the neighbourhood. While another person might look at that same run down building and see an opportunity for growth and development and a chance to add to and increase the curb appeal of the street and the neighbouring houses. Same situation, two different perspectives.
This is because each individual, based on their upbringing, their belief system, their frame of reference, their current emotional state assigns their own unique meaning to that circumstance.
I often use the example of my favourite body mantra to demonstrate this point and to help me shift my perspective and change my meaning when I find myself degrading my physical appearance. If I’m looking in the mirror and I focus on a part of my body that I dislike, I catch myself mid-self talk and switch it to something to be grateful for.
For example, if I’m hating on my flabby thighs, I repeat to myself “There’s a woman in this world right now, who doesn’t have legs or thighs. I’m so grateful for my beautiful thighs. I love my thighs.”
That instantly changes the meaning I’m assigning to that part of my body, and then I end up feeling more confident about it.
What is Mind Confidence?
Mind Confidence is therefore the degree to which a person explores, understands, accepts and appreciates the quality of their self-talk, their general feelings and emotional state, the quality of the content they allow into their sphere of awareness, and the meaning they choose to assign to events and experiences. High Mind confidence, or cognitive confidence, gives someone the ability to recognize their current state of mind, the cause and effect on that state and the ability to take a course of action to positively influence their mindset.