I’m thrilled to FINALLY be sharing this Confidence According To… post because not only does it feature one of the most delightful people I’ve ever met, but I’m also able to announce a fantastic new offering as a result!

Natalie Kirby is a practicing Life Coach with an effervescent personality who makes you smile even if you’re not in the mood for smiling! As a qualified psychologist, she’s well placed as a Life Coach and I’m thrilled to say that Natalie has kindly offered all my Confidence Session clients a complimentary 2 hour Life Coaching session!

So as part of your session, you’ll receive a voucher for a consultation with Natalie which will help you identify and work out a strategy for achieving your goals – whether in business, life or love!

So let me introduce you to Natalie…

Meet Natalie

Business Name
Open Doors Life Coaching
Website address
Social Media Links
Sharon from Chandramala photographed by Abigail K Photography A Cape Town based Portrait Photographer
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Did you have a female role model when you were growing up who taught you that women could be strong, independent and confident. If so, who was it?

My grandmother was and still is the strongest women I know. All her life she lived with a purpose and was self assured in her values and beliefs. I really looked up to this example and I always felt encouraged to be myself and go for what I wanted in life. Her attitude to life was always to work hard, be kind to others and she also had such a presence in any company she was in. Every one would listen to her stories and she would always put a smile on your face. She embodied a confidence and a persevering nature which has influenced me in my own journey of life. Even when my grandfather passed away she showed immense courage and resilience in living as independently as she could and even through her own health issues she always remained strong and kept moving forwards. I truly admired her grace and zest for life, she is my inspiration.

What’s the best advice you received to boost your confidence when you were younger?

That I didn’t have to prove myself to anyone or act a certain way just to be liked

How did that impact you physically and emotionally?

Physically I was able to stand taller and allow my inner strengths and beauty to shine through. Emotionally I was able to let go of my fears of not fitting in or seeking others approval. I was able to become more happy and healthier as a result. Whether it was improving my fitness or my mindset I could just be myself and not worry so much about what other people thought of me.

What was the biggest influence on your confidence (good or bad) up to the age of 25?

I went through a stage of gaining and losing friends and moving on from different people which allowed me to find out who was good for me and who wasn’t in my life. I was fortunate to realise the people who were truly loyal, trustworthy and great people to be around. I now surround myself with people who have similar values and outlook on life, people who support me and can foster a mutual loving friendship. This gives me so much confidence to just be who I am and share the ups and downs of life with people I respect and enjoy the company of.

What does confidence mean to you?

Confidence to me means to exude a level of comfort in your own skin and to let your inner beauty shine through in the way you present yourself, interact with others and how you approach life. Live with a purpose and be yourself without feeling like you have to live up to other people’s expectations. I believe this is the way to being your authentic self and being truly confident and happy.

When was a time you felt your most confident?

On my wedding day – apart from the pre ceremony nerves of walking down the aisle in front of all my family and friends I felt the most confident on this day. I felt the most beautiful standing in my wedding dress in front of the man I was getting to spend the rest of my life with – the one person in the world who truly understands me and who I feel I can be most comfortable and myself with. I was surrounded by the people I love the most, from those I admire to those who have stuck by me through thick and thin. This was the happiest day of my life.

How do you celebrate yourself on a regular basis?

I like to take time out more often at the weekend to get into nature and go for nice walks or hikes and explore the beautiful city in which I live. For me my fitness is a release and regularly I like to go running by the beach or surfing and playing golf with my husband and friends. To treat ourselves my husband and I love to go out for breakfast and we frequently visit our local cafes for some good yummy food and my favourite – coffee!

When was a time you did NOT feel confident?

During my school years I experienced bullying and that made me shy and knocked my self esteem. I didn’t like anything about myself, I felt ugly and I battled with my weight. I just didn’t seem to fit in. That was a pretty low time for me and one day I just had enough and decided I needed to take a stand and defend myself and take control of who I wanted to be – I attribute this turnaround to the great adult role models I had in my life at the time which I think has shaped me to becoming strong and being successful in my present life.

What do you do when you need an immediate confidence boost?

Wine! haha – For me, if I am feeling anxious or nervous or a bit down, I like to clear my mind by either listening to some of my favourite tunes whilst running or I like to go out with the girls just let loose have some fun. Putting some glam make up on and a nice outfit can really give me a good confidence boost accompanied with some good friends over coffee or wine I can feel ten times better and ready to conquer the day. If i want a quick fix a chat with my husband or a big hug also always does the trick!

Do you have any confidence boosting or self love mantras or sayings?

Im a big disney fan so some of walt disneys quotes I swear by and this now is my motto for life – “All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them” I also tell my self everyday as a mantra that I am strong, I am confident, I am loved and I go on to answer my daily questions such as What am I grateful for today? and What can I do today to make today great?

What online resources (websites, blogs, forums) boost your confidence?

I love Pinterest and I frequently update my board of positive affirmations which I try to read everyday to give me a boost
I always go to the New Insights Blog for some motivation and encouragement.  I also follow some great inspiring women on Instagram some of which are coaches and provide lots of good confidence boosting quotes on their page.

What advice would you give to a girl or woman who clearly has low confidence or low self love?

To not look to others to validate who you are, drive your courage from within, be brave and not afraid to stand out from the crowd and be you. Start small and build on each success you have and surround yourself with people who you admire and who inspire you.

What advice would your 85 year old self give you about your confidence & self love, today?

To live in the moment – life is too short so go out there grab it with both hands and laugh and love as much as you can.

If you were 5% kinder to yourself, starting tomorrow, what would you start doing differently?

I would not put so much pressure on myself to be a success and to take each day as it comes and celebrate the wins however small or big. Stop beating myself up with negative thoughts when things don’t go to plan or in the way I want them to. And remember that even miracles take a little time.

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